poems and such…

MY EVERYTHING

 

As I drive the nails into his flesh,

I hear him screaming, but I just ignore it.

My mind tells me what my heart fears;

my thoughts provoke me to grip the spear.

To get stabbed in the side is worse than in the back;

water and blood pour over me, yet it has no impact.

I can’t see past my stains to the blood that covers them;

the pain overwhelms me to the point of becoming numb.

Numb to the pain, numb to His voice, numb to every choice

that has led me down this path I’m on with no signs to direct me.

Another turn,

once again I scar His hands and turn my back on the one who forgives me.

They say he can redeem me, but the black is so thick it overtakes me.

It haunts me, torments me. Like a puppet on a string, it dictates me.

They say He’s greater than any evil, and what you did not create, you can’t kill.

Then why do I fell like I’ve died: like something is decaying inside of me?

I can’t see past my death.

Life is not a part of me; I cannot comprehend it,

or is it I can’t accept it?

It won’t let me accept it; the truth is poison to my veins.

This force binds me in chains.

I’ve fallen victim to the authority of this world.

I can’t break free; I don’t know how.

Save me from what I’ve become.

Save me from this hell that has become me.

The breath of life brings feeling to my soul.

I feel the pain of resurrecting my call,

To become someone greater than my fall.

The reverse of death is a painful experience,

But it has brought me to a place of repentance.

A place on my knees where I finally see

That every nail I killed Him with was first awarded to me.

You took the fall I chose not to take.

The blood, the tears, the point where I break

into a million pieces of what was nothing,

becoming something, and realizing,

that You’re my everything.