Nothing But The Best

Wow has it been a year since I’ve blogged?! Holy Cow! Well this is my first attempt at getting back in the groove of writing and posting blogs.  I have forgotten how much I miss this place and the ability to allow what God has been doing in me to tumble onto the page in poetic chaos.  

This post is very dear to my heart and it is a reality that God is still molding me and shaping me into every day.  Sometimes through success and rejoicing, but mostly through pain, heartache, and the humbling experience of facing my inner demons. 

I’ve been in a season of my life where my character has been questioned, my integrity attacked, and everything that I have known has been turned upside down and exposed in a totally different light than what I have ever been acquainted with in the past.  I will be the first to admit that I am young, I am fallible, I am human, I struggle like everyone else, and I hurt people that I love the most without even trying.  In fact, I make the effort not to hurt those I love and in turn end up making a bigger mess than anyone could think possible.  Pain has taken form and voiced its stance and its friend condemnation has second his motion.  I find myself in these times when the darkness taunts me and I have no strength left, weeping on my bed and crying out for the only one that I know can change me.  And the voices in my head lie to me tell me He is angry with me, that I am an enemy.  And I can almost feel the nail and hammer in my hand.  

Yet truth speaks softly to me, “You deserve the best…”

Shame forces me to abort this thought.

Yet it speaks louder, “You are a new creation, you are redeemed…”

I don’t know what to believe.

And again, “You are Mine. You deserve the best for your life because I have made you royalty.  Behold the old is past and all things are made new.”

This time I stop to listen a little closer.

This voice isn’t condemning like the others.  It doesn’t feel dark, or controlling, or restricted.  It feels different… something is different… it has………….hope.

The Lord begins to speak to me about the best for my life.  He tells me that because I am adopted by Him and am considered equal with Christ that I deserve the best.  Because royalty deserves the best.  He tells me that if I truly embraced this revelation that it would change every area of my life.  

He showed me that if I believed that I deserved the best for my life in my finances, then I would handle my finances with the utmost intent and integrity.  My relationship to my finances would change because I would believe I deserve the best, I deserve to be blessed, to be prosperous, to be generous. 

He showed me that if I believed that I deserved the best for my life in my friendships and relationships that I would also walk with the utmost integrity in all I do.  Because I would believe that I deserve only the best relationships and friendships and I wouldn’t want to do anything to sabotage the best that God has for my life.  I believe this is the practical manifestation of walking in the will of God.  

Same goes for my ministry and relationship with the Lord.  I would value my time with Him above all.  I would live at His feet.  Worship would be an aroma like incense flowing from my spririt.  And I would do whatever it took to be with Him for just one more moment, just one more touch, just one more word, just one more…

 Because no longer would I see myself as a peasant look from the outside into the kingdom.

But I would know that my place is at the feet of Jesus in the center of His Presence. 

That’s where revelation takes form and becomes reality.

And that’s when reality multiplies and produces fruit. 

And I find that though darkness demands my loyalty, that truth is my advocate.

And in fact, it is true, that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God.

I am my beloved’s and he is mine. His desire is towards me.

I did it!!!! Part II of peeing outside…

So I did it! I peed outside, in the woods, behind a tree. For some of you, you know this was a great accomplishment for me. A: I have never peed outside while camping before, B: I don’t know how to squat… Thanks to my wonderful friend Heidi who decided to take on the adventure as well as to not suffer any kidney damage… We, very carefully created the most amazing way to pee outside… I like to call it the hold and squat.

This technique takes great upper body strength as well as strong legs from both parties involved. So Heidi and I locked arms, looked the other way, and prayed to God that the other wouldn’t let go. After a few times, we had it down to perfection.

I might add that this experience was very humbling at that. At any moment, a fisher could walk around the corner and spot you. Or for that matter, walking back to camp from the middle of the forest where everyone knows the deed you just did. Nothing brought this to my attention more than Heidi’s son Tre’ ( 8 ) yelling at a girl walking out from behind a tree and yelling, “I know what you did! You were pooping!” Thankfully where I would have been mortified, the girl just laughed along with the boys.

So camping was fun, It poured down rain, we almost ran out of gas and firewood, I hit a log on the way home and dented my car, and froze my butt off. But the greatest lesson out of all of this that I learned was…

A real friend holds you when you pee! Love ya Heidi! Props to the first timers!!!