My Emergency Response Team

Today was like any other Friday. The alarm went off and I hit snooze for 30 minutes before rolling out of bed. I complained in my head that it was too cold in my house and I would rather stay asleep. I made coffee. I wished I would have had a Starbucks latte instead. I took a shower, got ready, prayed, and read a book. I left my apartment, got into my car, and quickly became irritated when I noticed a truck blocking the alley. I might have said something out loud at this moment but no one can prove it. I drove to the church for internship while listening to some Ben Dunn.

Upon approaching the church I was early so I sat in my warm car, reflecting on God and all He has done for me. Woman stood outside the church I saw out of the corner of my eye.

Lets rewind.

Last night at my apartment my boyfriend Joel and I began to talk about what was in our heart as far as what kind of family we want to be, what kind of ministry we want to have, and what daily lifestyles we want to give ourselves to. He began to share his heart and become very quite and sober in his speech. I could tell this matter was a burden God had placed in his heart.

As he spoke the presence of God began to slowly fill my living room like insence being burned. You don’t smell it all at once, but once in a while you catch the scent and recognize its presence.

My love began to share that he sees the church(globally) doing great things, he sees powerful services happening, miracles being performed, the prophetic flowing, yet the people outside our front door are still cold, homeless, and hurting. He shared how he felt compelled to get back to the simplicity of just loving people. Of just doing what you could to help the person right in front of you. I think often times we ask God to use us to love people and to reach out, but we associate that answered prayer to the work the church is doing corporately, rather than us as individuals.

There seems to be a disconnect between the fact that God wants to use you individually in your everyday life to reach people where ever you are at, and the messages of being a “good samaritan” that are preached in the House of God. As this disconnect has become greatly evident to me in the past few days I found myself at the same conclusion as Joel, I just want to love people.

Lets fast forward.

I’m sitting in my car. I’m thanking God for what He is to me. Oh yeah, and there is a woman I’ve never seen before. She’s just standing there, looking down at something in her hand, and for a split second I think to myself, “Maybe I should go talk to her. Maybe I could pray for her for something.” But I don’t.

At that moment, my teacher drives up and parks right in front of the woman. Getting out, she did not hesitate for a moment, but went straight up to the woman, hugged her, and began talking with her while I made my way inside as not to be late, unpack my laptop and get on facebook before class started.

During the middle of our prayer session, my teacher informed us that a woman came to the door this morning asking for help. She has been laid off from her job and her and her 14 year old son now have no idea where they will sleep tonight. † She has nothing… and we were her last resort.

We immediately began praying for her and interceding for her asking God to show up big on her behalf and have mercy on her situation. We stood in the gap in the spirit for her and her son… and then it took another form.

We prayed that God would use us to minister to her, to help her, to love her. and then we did it. We did not wait for a super duper plan to fall from heaven, money or manna to manifest. No. We got to work.

Our team went into ‘emergency response mode.’

For an hour, we sat brainstorming ideas and ways in which we could help this woman and her son. We then categorized our ideas into short term help and long term help columns. After this we broke up into multiple groups, began making phone calls, and vigorously searching the internet to find a solution to her problem.

Did she deserve this? I don’t know. Are there drugs involved? I don’t know. Is she taking advantage of us? Again, I don’t know. What I do know though, is this…

I did not deserve to have an Almighty God come down from heaven, make himself like me, and die in place of me. I did not deserve to be loved by a God that not only saved me, but loves me. I did not deserve to be called a child of God, or adopted into His kingdom, or have a part in His inheritance. And I do not deserve to one day rule and reign with Him.

I do know…

That I am called to live like Jesus did, love like Jesus did, Pardon like Jesus did, and give like Jesus did… unconditionally.

And so we are doing just that.

And so I find a connection between our conversation last night, to the woman this morning.

And all throughout this day-long process that disrupted our school schedule, the Lord began showing me every moment, just today, that I had complained or was dissatisfied with my life. While I was bummed that my coffee wasn’t Starbucks, there was a woman worrying about how she would feed her child tonight. That while I sat in my heated car, irritated at the guy blocking the alley, there was a family that didn’t know where they would sleep tonight. Or they would be warm. Or safe. And as I praised God from my car and thanked Him for who He was, He was providing me the opportunity to love someone as I am loved.

I was in disconnect.

I would have missed an opportunity to love someone, which is what I wanted in the first place.

And I would have missed this amazing lesson.

So as you lay your head on your pillow tonight, think about that connection between Heaven and Earth that God is calling us to make.

You could be someone’s Emergency Response Team.

UPDATE:

Though I am posting this now, I wrote this article last week.

As of now, our mother and son are still homeless. We have provided her with many options, yet she has to be willing to accept them. Joel and I bought her dinner for that night that she approached the church. She sat in every service on Sunday morning praising God and seeking help. Her son along side of her. Joel and I took them to get a shower after second service and was able to talk to them and pray with them. You ache inside knowing that this son will live in the consequences of his mother. He is not hard yet or jaded. We pray he comes to youth service tomorrow and we get a chance to speak purpose into him. As of now, we wait, pray, and believe God for them both. This is where we are at as of now. More postings to follow.

Nothing But The Best

Wow has it been a year since I’ve blogged?! Holy Cow! Well this is my first attempt at getting back in the groove of writing and posting blogs.  I have forgotten how much I miss this place and the ability to allow what God has been doing in me to tumble onto the page in poetic chaos.  

This post is very dear to my heart and it is a reality that God is still molding me and shaping me into every day.  Sometimes through success and rejoicing, but mostly through pain, heartache, and the humbling experience of facing my inner demons. 

I’ve been in a season of my life where my character has been questioned, my integrity attacked, and everything that I have known has been turned upside down and exposed in a totally different light than what I have ever been acquainted with in the past.  I will be the first to admit that I am young, I am fallible, I am human, I struggle like everyone else, and I hurt people that I love the most without even trying.  In fact, I make the effort not to hurt those I love and in turn end up making a bigger mess than anyone could think possible.  Pain has taken form and voiced its stance and its friend condemnation has second his motion.  I find myself in these times when the darkness taunts me and I have no strength left, weeping on my bed and crying out for the only one that I know can change me.  And the voices in my head lie to me tell me He is angry with me, that I am an enemy.  And I can almost feel the nail and hammer in my hand.  

Yet truth speaks softly to me, “You deserve the best…”

Shame forces me to abort this thought.

Yet it speaks louder, “You are a new creation, you are redeemed…”

I don’t know what to believe.

And again, “You are Mine. You deserve the best for your life because I have made you royalty.  Behold the old is past and all things are made new.”

This time I stop to listen a little closer.

This voice isn’t condemning like the others.  It doesn’t feel dark, or controlling, or restricted.  It feels different… something is different… it has………….hope.

The Lord begins to speak to me about the best for my life.  He tells me that because I am adopted by Him and am considered equal with Christ that I deserve the best.  Because royalty deserves the best.  He tells me that if I truly embraced this revelation that it would change every area of my life.  

He showed me that if I believed that I deserved the best for my life in my finances, then I would handle my finances with the utmost intent and integrity.  My relationship to my finances would change because I would believe I deserve the best, I deserve to be blessed, to be prosperous, to be generous. 

He showed me that if I believed that I deserved the best for my life in my friendships and relationships that I would also walk with the utmost integrity in all I do.  Because I would believe that I deserve only the best relationships and friendships and I wouldn’t want to do anything to sabotage the best that God has for my life.  I believe this is the practical manifestation of walking in the will of God.  

Same goes for my ministry and relationship with the Lord.  I would value my time with Him above all.  I would live at His feet.  Worship would be an aroma like incense flowing from my spririt.  And I would do whatever it took to be with Him for just one more moment, just one more touch, just one more word, just one more…

 Because no longer would I see myself as a peasant look from the outside into the kingdom.

But I would know that my place is at the feet of Jesus in the center of His Presence. 

That’s where revelation takes form and becomes reality.

And that’s when reality multiplies and produces fruit. 

And I find that though darkness demands my loyalty, that truth is my advocate.

And in fact, it is true, that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God.

I am my beloved’s and he is mine. His desire is towards me.